Hardrock, soft mind.
My training leading up to the event seemed pretty
solid. I spent a good amount of time at
higher elevations, lots of steep miles while running and while hiking with my
daughter Penny on my back.
Leading up to the race was different this year. I wasn’t hanging out in Silverton for a
couple weeks leading up to race day, which was kind of nice. I missed seeing a bunch of friends like I
have the previous two times I’ve run this race, when I did stay in Silverton
prior to race day. Now I live in Ouray,
one mile from the aid station at mile 56 of the counter-clockwise course. I didn’t have to take weeks off of work to
head out and acclimate. My friends and
family came to support me, and we got to hang out in my house. This was nice and mellow compared to the buzz
in Silverton leading up to race day.
The race started and everything seemed to be happening as
expected. Then G.I. distress reared its
ugly head. I felt okay leaving Grouse
Gulch with my pacer, Graham, ran most of the first half of the climb, then felt
horrible for the second half of the climb, feeling dizzy and tired. I puked at Engineer Pass and slowly ran down
to Ouray.
Not tough enough. Chamoun helping me out at the Ouray aid station. pc: Erik Schulte |
I needed to sit and eat a bit, regroup. Suddenly I got really cold even though it
wasn’t cold out. I laid on a cot, was
covered by a couple sleeping bags, but kept shivering for quite a while and was
breathing fast. My blood pressure was
taken and it was a bit low. Eventually I
was able to eat and put down four bowls of chicken noodle soup. In hindsight I didn’t spend much time at aid
stations before Ouray, and probably wasn’t taking in enough calories up until
this point. Most of the calories I did
take in were from drinking Tailwind from aid stations. This worked well for a while, but I think 12
hours of drinking sweet liquid put my stomach over the edge.
After hours of feeling like crap on the course, then lying
in the aid station for an hour and a half or so, my mind became progressively
pessimistic. I began to justify dropping: I really don’t think I could make it up to
Virginius Pass (I bet I could have), I don’t want my wife and friends to drive
to Telluride and be stuck there for hours waiting for me since I would
obviously be moving at a snails pace (they kept telling me not to worry about
that), if I dropped I could be in bed in minutes and I would get to wake up
with my wife, daughter, friends and parents at my house, and spend the next day
with them.
My wife talked me into walking out of the aid station to see
if I would snap out of it. My pacer,
Erik, and I trotted up Camp Bird Rd. I
was feeling a lot better than when I arrived at the aid station. I was much more clear-headed. When we’d stop to chat with runners passing
me I would unintentionally start falling over a bit and catch myself with my
trekking poles. I used that as another
excuse to drop. So after a couple miles
of whining up the road I finally threw in the towel and turned around.
The other two years I ran Hardrock I also went through times
of feeling absolutely horrible, and really thinking that I there was no way I
could make it, but somehow I did. That’s
what Hardrock is all about. Pushing
through the misery and surprising yourself by being tougher than you thought
you were, doing more than you thought you could. This year, with my warm and comfy bed a mile
away, I dropped. Mentally, I couldn’t
rationalize pushing through misery for another 20 hours or so. Looking back I wish I would have.
I had the good fortune of being selected to run the race,
back in December of last year, and not a day had passed that I hadn’t thought
of Hardrock. I trained 7 days a week
most weeks. Adopted a new diet, read a
book and many articles on training. Thousands
of people want to run this race every year, I was lucky enough to be selected
in the lottery, but I blew it – mostly by not soldiering on.
Fortunately, I can take the fresh sting of this embarrassing
situation and try and learn from it, by racing the Ouray 100 in 17 days. But first, I get to crew and pace Elissa at
the High Lonesome 100 in the Sawatch Mountains, wahoo!
Thanks, good to know the story. Played out pretty f***ing well though in the end. Congratulations on crushing the Ouray 100!!!
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